Remembering dad on his birthday...

I'm typing this blog to honor the memory of my father who passed away in 1995. Our relationship then was somewhat strained during that period because I was eager to assert my need for independence while my father was, in his twisted little way, reluctant to let me "spread my wings." He knew that the key to my success in establishing independence depended on two things: mobility and money. Both of which my father kept to a minimum. I won’t go into details about that part because by American standards, the story of how this came to be seems very convoluted; understand that my father was an American living in Asia and taking advantage of the culture’s proclivity for obedience and harmony. So naturally, I took a passive-aggressive approach to my rebelling when I was a teenager. Don’t knock the technique; it enabled me to get away with a lot by appearing obedient and harmless! But aside from that short but tumultuous period in my life, I look back and realize that my dad was a great father. Flawed as he was – as I believe most fathers are – he did his best and did it out of pure love for his family. No one can take that away from him. You know the saying “behind every great man, there’s a great woman?” well, in my father’s case that woman was his mother. She nurtured, guided him, and taught him to live a life that is just and honorable despite his mischievous ways. Obviously, my dad was a natural trouble maker in his youth. Not the bad kind, but more the impish, happy-go-lucky kind that annoyed his siblings and made his father throw-up his hands in frustrated capitulation. In one year, he crashed all four of the family cars; flipped another car he was driving with his parents and two of his aunts as passengers (his father decked him because he was being a smart-ass). In a lot of ways, he never grew up; he was never really ready for fatherhood. My dad was very conflicted in his demeanor: around family, he tried to act the responsible leader and provider while deep down inside he painfully wanted to carry on like he was 19. At times, I loved it; at times I hated it. However, there is no denying my dad’s powerfully positive impact on my life. Though I remember the conflicts between us, it could never outnumber or overpower my memories of the fun I had spending time with him and the somewhat privileged life afforded by his efforts, hard-work and sacrifice (which writing it in this blog could never do it justice)! Thanks to my dad, I was introduced to the world of comic books (he started buying them when I was about four years old not realizing then that I didn’t know how to read much less recite my alphabets). Thanks to him, I was introduced to the world of American Hot Rods and Muscle Cars; Because of him I was privileged to live in two worlds: that of an American and that of an Asian. He unwittingly influenced my conservative, right-wing political leanings although I argued his political positions from a left-wing, liberal standpoint. Do I miss him? Pretty much. If he were alive today, I’m sure he would be very happy to know that we now see eye to eye on many issues, and that I would work harder with him to achieve many of his automotive projects. But that’s all wishful thinking now isn’t it? Anyway, his birthday was yesterday. I was just thinking about him and wanted to thank him for the great life he provided me and the rest of our family when he was around.

Amateur Movie Review: Push

Basically, there’s really nothing special about this movie. The concept of a secret organization assembling psychics of various abilities for diverse purposes is nothing new (look up remote-viewing in the net), but the categorization of the various psychics based on their skills/powers was pretty cool. Unfortunately, there were no “Holy shit, that was awesome!” moments in the film (obviously, I've been watchng too many movies like this one that I'm quite jaded). This would probably make a great TV or mini-series; the writers could better flesh out the characters’ personality and motivations; perhaps give the concept of the Division and the characters more depth (much like the TV series "Heroes"). Though seeing the Movers in action was fun to watch, I couldn’t help but make comparisons to the Jedis in “Star Wars” when they were moving/throwing things around during the fight. Even the Pushers ability begged comparison to the Jedi mind trick; only the Pusher’s ability seemed more potent and they weren’t as lovely as Camilla Belle. The rest of the cast, from Chris Evan’s character Nick, and Djimon Hounsou’s Division Agent Henry Carver to Dakota Fanning’s Cassie Holmes were fun to watch and pretty much kept their characters, and perhaps, the movie from being too cardboard-ish or cartoonish. Would I recommend it? Only if you’re fans of the four principal actors in the film; otherwise, wait for it to come out on DVD. I gave it three stars!!!

Sentimental Musings...

Today is the birthday (at least I think it is) of the one girl who, for the longest time, I was hopelessly head-over-heels in love with during most of my teen years. Of course there were a lot of other girls that came my way during that time in my life, but they just didn't have the same impact that this girl (who shall remain nameless in this blog entry) had. For most of the 80s, my infatuation for her bordered onto obsession which, I now can safely say in hindsight, peaked during the late 80s. What's real pathetic about it was that I never did muster up the courage to ask her out (because of an unfounded fear of rejection though I never had this problem with the other girls around me). I'm sure this frustrated and probably confused her back then as I realize now that she had been waiting for me to ask her out the whole time. This epiphany caused me to want to kick myself a few times. Now, nearly two decades later, I still find myself thinking about her from time to time. However, if asked by the fates if I ever wanted to resume my pursuit of this woman, I would say that it would have to be under the condition that we be sent back in time to where and when this whole "courtship" began (with my current memories and knowledge intact of course); but if it where to resume from the present timeline I, for the most part, would have to regretfully decline (unless certain conditions of my choosing are met). The growing concern I have now is that I have put this woman on so high a pedestal that I am using her as the standard by which all other women that come into my life are measured. I know that this is unfair because I've met a lot of women since then that have far surpassed her in many areas (especially in the looks department). So why am I blogging about her? I just wanted to celebrate my fondest memories of the girlfriend I never had. To let the world know (without really telling everyone - does that make sense?), that I kinda miss her and want to thank her for the many inspirations she gave me. Who knows what personal and career plateaus I might have reached had we actually connected and had a life together. On the other hand, those thoughts could all just be the naive, nostalgic sentiments of a weary, middle-aged adventure traveller in the road of life.