Sentimental Musings...

Today is the birthday (at least I think it is) of the one girl who, for the longest time, I was hopelessly head-over-heels in love with during most of my teen years. Of course there were a lot of other girls that came my way during that time in my life, but they just didn't have the same impact that this girl (who shall remain nameless in this blog entry) had. For most of the 80s, my infatuation for her bordered onto obsession which, I now can safely say in hindsight, peaked during the late 80s. What's real pathetic about it was that I never did muster up the courage to ask her out (because of an unfounded fear of rejection though I never had this problem with the other girls around me). I'm sure this frustrated and probably confused her back then as I realize now that she had been waiting for me to ask her out the whole time. This epiphany caused me to want to kick myself a few times. Now, nearly two decades later, I still find myself thinking about her from time to time. However, if asked by the fates if I ever wanted to resume my pursuit of this woman, I would say that it would have to be under the condition that we be sent back in time to where and when this whole "courtship" began (with my current memories and knowledge intact of course); but if it where to resume from the present timeline I, for the most part, would have to regretfully decline (unless certain conditions of my choosing are met). The growing concern I have now is that I have put this woman on so high a pedestal that I am using her as the standard by which all other women that come into my life are measured. I know that this is unfair because I've met a lot of women since then that have far surpassed her in many areas (especially in the looks department). So why am I blogging about her? I just wanted to celebrate my fondest memories of the girlfriend I never had. To let the world know (without really telling everyone - does that make sense?), that I kinda miss her and want to thank her for the many inspirations she gave me. Who knows what personal and career plateaus I might have reached had we actually connected and had a life together. On the other hand, those thoughts could all just be the naive, nostalgic sentiments of a weary, middle-aged adventure traveller in the road of life.