I'm typing this blog to honor the memory of my father who passed away in 1995. Our relationship then was somewhat strained during that period because I was eager to assert my need for independence while my father was, in his twisted little way, reluctant to let me "spread my wings." He knew that the key to my success in establishing independence depended on two things: mobility and money. Both of which my father kept to a minimum. I won’t go into details about that part because by American standards, the story of how this came to be seems very convoluted; understand that my father was an American living in Asia and taking advantage of the culture’s proclivity for obedience and harmony. So naturally, I took a passive-aggressive approach to my rebelling when I was a teenager. Don’t knock the technique; it enabled me to get away with a lot by appearing obedient and harmless! But aside from that short but tumultuous period in my life, I look back and realize that my dad was a great father. Flawed as he was – as I believe most fathers are – he did his best and did it out of pure love for his family. No one can take that away from him. You know the saying “behind every great man, there’s a great woman?” well, in my father’s case that woman was his mother. She nurtured, guided him, and taught him to live a life that is just and honorable despite his mischievous ways. Obviously, my dad was a natural trouble maker in his youth. Not the bad kind, but more the impish, happy-go-lucky kind that annoyed his siblings and made his father throw-up his hands in frustrated capitulation. In one year, he crashed all four of the family cars; flipped another car he was driving with his parents and two of his aunts as passengers (his father decked him because he was being a smart-ass). In a lot of ways, he never grew up; he was never really ready for fatherhood. My dad was very conflicted in his demeanor: around family, he tried to act the responsible leader and provider while deep down inside he painfully wanted to carry on like he was 19. At times, I loved it; at times I hated it. However, there is no denying my dad’s powerfully positive impact on my life. Though I remember the conflicts between us, it could never outnumber or overpower my memories of the fun I had spending time with him and the somewhat privileged life afforded by his efforts, hard-work and sacrifice (which writing it in this blog could never do it justice)! Thanks to my dad, I was introduced to the world of comic books (he started buying them when I was about four years old not realizing then that I didn’t know how to read much less recite my alphabets). Thanks to him, I was introduced to the world of American Hot Rods and Muscle Cars; Because of him I was privileged to live in two worlds: that of an American and that of an Asian. He unwittingly influenced my conservative, right-wing political leanings although I argued his political positions from a left-wing, liberal standpoint. Do I miss him? Pretty much. If he were alive today, I’m sure he would be very happy to know that we now see eye to eye on many issues, and that I would work harder with him to achieve many of his automotive projects. But that’s all wishful thinking now isn’t it? Anyway, his birthday was yesterday. I was just thinking about him and wanted to thank him for the great life he provided me and the rest of our family when he was around.
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